I want to say I'm sorry in advance, but I'm bored and I love cheap wine.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Things That Piss Me Off
Here it is, top 10 things that irritate the ever livin' outta me.
WARNING: I use some of the swears in this.
10. Idiots who say they will be there in 20 minutes, then arrive 2 hours later.Seriously, you have a cell phone. Fucking use it. Don't give me that "Ooooh I was on the phone with my cousin forever before I left" well, if that happens you call and say "sorry, I'm running behind" I truly don't get people sometimes. Am I the only person who likes to update people about where I'm at and how long I'll be, etc? Am I the only courteous person left on this damned planet?
9. People who speed up to pass you, then go 5 over the speed limit. Screw you. You're a prick and nobody likes you. If you feel the need to pass me, pass me like you're SERIOUSLY pissed off at me because I'm only going 10 over, flick me off and try and drive me off the road. That passive aggressive pass-then-slow thing really has to stop. Does this only happen in Minnesota? I know we are the passive aggressive state.
8. People who don't have their ID or money ready while in a line. Do you really need to stand there and watch the cashier scan everything before you pull out your money or credit card? With money I kind of get it, you might not know the exact total but if you're one of the bazillion people who have a credit card, why are you protecting it and hiding it like its one of Michael Jackon's children? The world seriously won't start to crumble underneath you if you break that puppy out right away. Oh, PS? REMEMBER WHERE YOU PUT YOUR CREDIT CARD. I know a few people who toss it in their purse. You have a wallet, use it. And use it wisely. Don't over pack the slots for the cards, so they are easily accessible. If you over pack 5 slots you already have issues. You really don't need a card for every place you shop at.
7. Men. I have yet to meet one who I haven't hated to any degree (sorry). I might not hate them as a person, possibly a situation I'm in with them even would more than likely make me dislike them to a certain degree. I've talked to a few men who are nice and sweet but have I actually hung out with them in a social setting? No. Thats when you know if a man is a douche or not. They can be Casanova on the phone, e-mail, txt, blog, tweet, facebook status, messenger pigeon but once you are face to face with them...their true idiosyncrasy shows. I guess that goes for everyone, but I really like picking on men.
6. People who blog. I guess I piss myself off. I'm pretentious. I love reading what I have to say because I don't hear it enough when I tell myself I'm fucking awesome. Here, let me show you how witty I am. And I know all the hip new places to hang out, all the hole in the wall mom and pa shops that have the best pie, and yes I've tried that new mirco brew and it wasn't that good. Oh and cupcake shops are totally so 2009.
5. Sarcastic people. Once again, I guess I piss myself off. But here is the thing, have you ever been so pissed off at something but the sheer brilliance of the said thing you are pissed at makes you love that thing/person/situation that much more just because it was sarcasm filled? What can I say, I love dry humor. I love people who are pricks just to get a rise out of someone. I do fancy myself a sarcasm-a-thon from time to time.
4. People who dislikes someone just because their intelligence level isn't as low as theirs. I'm sorry, sometimes people say things that go over other peoples heads, and in return they get dumbfounded and feel stupid. It isn't that persons fault that you don't get it. (easily something like sarcasm, most people can't grasp onto that) So please, don't go and be mean to them because your mind just folded in on itself.
3. Car Alarms. Yes, the noise is so annoying usually the person breaking into your car will run off like they are a scared dog. But when I'm trying to sleep and it goes off for two hours,...yeah.....that isn't my idea of a good time. Can't someone make a car alarm that goes on your keys and it makes the same exact noise so it informs said car owner of said possible car break-in? Is there something like that? If so make it cheap enough so someone that has a 98 Dodge Neon can sleep sound knowing their precious piece of shit car won't get stolen.
2. Sports. Why do I even take my time to watch this shit? I remember when I was younger I watched it just for the sake of watching it. I started getting into it because I was the second child, and I wasn't a boy so my dad made damn sure he'd get me into sports because I think he wished I was a boy. I didn't care about the numbers, transactions, or rumors. When I watched football as a kid I saw two teams, and a ball. I saw whoever scored the most won. I was sold, thats all I needed and had to know. I didn't give two fucks about off sides calls, or illegal formation. Once you get older it loses that magic.
You obsess. You get way too into it. But I guess thats what happens when you get passionate about sports. One sport I can always count on is baseball for some reason, because I refuse to get into saber-metrics. People who do that have too much time on their hands. I love the sport for the history, and the feeling I get when I'm at the park. I don't need no score-card-keeping saber-metrics Nazi all up in my grill while I'm trying to eat a hot dog and drink a beer. Let me scream at Nick Swisher in peace, thank you. PS: people who judge a pitcher by their wins and loses should be punched.
1. Splenda. You chemically transformed sugar wanna be! You taste like chlorine. And don't give me that bullshit, your body can't process something that doesn't know what it is. Think of how many housewives drink Diet Coke thinking it'll keep them 'slim'. Does everyone wonder why recently cancer has been becoming more and more frequent? My theory is that your body doesn't know what the shit to do with the over consumption of this so called 'sugar substitute' so it stores it and fucks with your chemicals in your body. It's like getting a calcium deposit, but chemically engineered sugar attacks the weak cells in your body, transforming it into cancer. See, this is what I think about late at night. I really wish I could think about boys....or Jersey Shore.
If you ended up reading all of that, I'm sorry. But here is a present! Lets get happy and watch a cute cat trying to contact its cat overlords in its great attempt to signal the start of the catalocalypse!
WARNING: I use some of the swears in this.
10. Idiots who say they will be there in 20 minutes, then arrive 2 hours later.Seriously, you have a cell phone. Fucking use it. Don't give me that "Ooooh I was on the phone with my cousin forever before I left" well, if that happens you call and say "sorry, I'm running behind" I truly don't get people sometimes. Am I the only person who likes to update people about where I'm at and how long I'll be, etc? Am I the only courteous person left on this damned planet?
9. People who speed up to pass you, then go 5 over the speed limit. Screw you. You're a prick and nobody likes you. If you feel the need to pass me, pass me like you're SERIOUSLY pissed off at me because I'm only going 10 over, flick me off and try and drive me off the road. That passive aggressive pass-then-slow thing really has to stop. Does this only happen in Minnesota? I know we are the passive aggressive state.
8. People who don't have their ID or money ready while in a line. Do you really need to stand there and watch the cashier scan everything before you pull out your money or credit card? With money I kind of get it, you might not know the exact total but if you're one of the bazillion people who have a credit card, why are you protecting it and hiding it like its one of Michael Jackon's children? The world seriously won't start to crumble underneath you if you break that puppy out right away. Oh, PS? REMEMBER WHERE YOU PUT YOUR CREDIT CARD. I know a few people who toss it in their purse. You have a wallet, use it. And use it wisely. Don't over pack the slots for the cards, so they are easily accessible. If you over pack 5 slots you already have issues. You really don't need a card for every place you shop at.
7. Men. I have yet to meet one who I haven't hated to any degree (sorry). I might not hate them as a person, possibly a situation I'm in with them even would more than likely make me dislike them to a certain degree. I've talked to a few men who are nice and sweet but have I actually hung out with them in a social setting? No. Thats when you know if a man is a douche or not. They can be Casanova on the phone, e-mail, txt, blog, tweet, facebook status, messenger pigeon but once you are face to face with them...their true idiosyncrasy shows. I guess that goes for everyone, but I really like picking on men.
6. People who blog. I guess I piss myself off. I'm pretentious. I love reading what I have to say because I don't hear it enough when I tell myself I'm fucking awesome. Here, let me show you how witty I am. And I know all the hip new places to hang out, all the hole in the wall mom and pa shops that have the best pie, and yes I've tried that new mirco brew and it wasn't that good. Oh and cupcake shops are totally so 2009.
5. Sarcastic people. Once again, I guess I piss myself off. But here is the thing, have you ever been so pissed off at something but the sheer brilliance of the said thing you are pissed at makes you love that thing/person/situation that much more just because it was sarcasm filled? What can I say, I love dry humor. I love people who are pricks just to get a rise out of someone. I do fancy myself a sarcasm-a-thon from time to time.
4. People who dislikes someone just because their intelligence level isn't as low as theirs. I'm sorry, sometimes people say things that go over other peoples heads, and in return they get dumbfounded and feel stupid. It isn't that persons fault that you don't get it. (easily something like sarcasm, most people can't grasp onto that) So please, don't go and be mean to them because your mind just folded in on itself.
3. Car Alarms. Yes, the noise is so annoying usually the person breaking into your car will run off like they are a scared dog. But when I'm trying to sleep and it goes off for two hours,...yeah.....that isn't my idea of a good time. Can't someone make a car alarm that goes on your keys and it makes the same exact noise so it informs said car owner of said possible car break-in? Is there something like that? If so make it cheap enough so someone that has a 98 Dodge Neon can sleep sound knowing their precious piece of shit car won't get stolen.
2. Sports. Why do I even take my time to watch this shit? I remember when I was younger I watched it just for the sake of watching it. I started getting into it because I was the second child, and I wasn't a boy so my dad made damn sure he'd get me into sports because I think he wished I was a boy. I didn't care about the numbers, transactions, or rumors. When I watched football as a kid I saw two teams, and a ball. I saw whoever scored the most won. I was sold, thats all I needed and had to know. I didn't give two fucks about off sides calls, or illegal formation. Once you get older it loses that magic.
You obsess. You get way too into it. But I guess thats what happens when you get passionate about sports. One sport I can always count on is baseball for some reason, because I refuse to get into saber-metrics. People who do that have too much time on their hands. I love the sport for the history, and the feeling I get when I'm at the park. I don't need no score-card-keeping saber-metrics Nazi all up in my grill while I'm trying to eat a hot dog and drink a beer. Let me scream at Nick Swisher in peace, thank you. PS: people who judge a pitcher by their wins and loses should be punched.
1. Splenda. You chemically transformed sugar wanna be! You taste like chlorine. And don't give me that bullshit, your body can't process something that doesn't know what it is. Think of how many housewives drink Diet Coke thinking it'll keep them 'slim'. Does everyone wonder why recently cancer has been becoming more and more frequent? My theory is that your body doesn't know what the shit to do with the over consumption of this so called 'sugar substitute' so it stores it and fucks with your chemicals in your body. It's like getting a calcium deposit, but chemically engineered sugar attacks the weak cells in your body, transforming it into cancer. See, this is what I think about late at night. I really wish I could think about boys....or Jersey Shore.
If you ended up reading all of that, I'm sorry. But here is a present! Lets get happy and watch a cute cat trying to contact its cat overlords in its great attempt to signal the start of the catalocalypse!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
1...2....3......Cuteness Explosion!
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
-insert heart melt here-
Monday, October 18, 2010
Oh, Craigslist.
Sometimes people who are funny get on Craigslist, and they make a funny post. This is one.
--Click this guy right here--
SO then I decided to make one of my own:
Boom.
--Click this guy right here--
SO then I decided to make one of my own:
Boom.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Things I've Learned / Things I Know
- Brett Michaels is a zombie.
- Yankees are the anti christ.
- Clocks that make noise every hour should be outlawed and burned at town square.
- Water is the best thing in the world, ever.
- Happiness is not a warm gun, Lennon/McCartney.
- Having a sexual attraction for a fake serial killer would be considered a 'problem'. But really, how can you NOT like Dexter Morgan?
- Every time I see a band I liked long before everyone else on VH1 or MTV, I die a little inside. Also, I think every time that happens an actual Hipster dies too.
- I don't care how much wood a woodchuck can chuck. It doesn't involve me.
- I miss my parents.
- I still don't understand why women like guys who sound like women when they sing.
- long tailed sylph = coolest bird in all the land.
- Seinfeld is funny.
- If you don't sleep with pillows you don't deserve to sleep in a bed.
- If you own all of the Saw's you should be curb stomped.
And now your daily dose of 'Awwww':
- Yankees are the anti christ.
- Clocks that make noise every hour should be outlawed and burned at town square.
- Water is the best thing in the world, ever.
- Happiness is not a warm gun, Lennon/McCartney.
- Having a sexual attraction for a fake serial killer would be considered a 'problem'. But really, how can you NOT like Dexter Morgan?
- Every time I see a band I liked long before everyone else on VH1 or MTV, I die a little inside. Also, I think every time that happens an actual Hipster dies too.
- I don't care how much wood a woodchuck can chuck. It doesn't involve me.
- I miss my parents.
- I still don't understand why women like guys who sound like women when they sing.
- long tailed sylph = coolest bird in all the land.
- Seinfeld is funny.
- If you don't sleep with pillows you don't deserve to sleep in a bed.
- If you own all of the Saw's you should be curb stomped.
And now your daily dose of 'Awwww':
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wild rice so-- erm. I mean Black Japonica soup.
Someone went and did something stupid. I couldn't find the wild rice brand I wanted, so I asked a random and picked up the bag of rice (that I purchased) and said its cheaper and tastes the same.
I started cooking my soup today.
I put the Japonica into the water.
I walked away to go get the chicken bouillon.
I turned back to the pot and saw this:
Pitch black water. I stared at it for a while thinking Tim Curry would pop out of it (think 'Fern Gully'), decided to take a picture of it then googled the shit out of "Black Japonica" and I got this:
http://recipes.wikia.com/wiki/Black_japonica_rice
So, do I make this rice into a thicker soup? Or should I go to the grocery store and buy actual wild rice?
The dangerous side of me wants to try and make this Asian rice into an amazing soup.
But the Indian in me is getting very pissed off.
UPDATE!!: The soup is possibly the best I've made, ever. And its better than any 'wild rice' soup I've had. Yes, even better than Lund's. I think its the local heavy whipping cream I used. Mmmmmm.
I started cooking my soup today.
I put the Japonica into the water.
I walked away to go get the chicken bouillon.
I turned back to the pot and saw this:
Pitch black water. I stared at it for a while thinking Tim Curry would pop out of it (think 'Fern Gully'), decided to take a picture of it then googled the shit out of "Black Japonica" and I got this:
http://recipes.wikia.com/wiki/Black_japonica_rice
So, do I make this rice into a thicker soup? Or should I go to the grocery store and buy actual wild rice?
The dangerous side of me wants to try and make this Asian rice into an amazing soup.
But the Indian in me is getting very pissed off.
UPDATE!!: The soup is possibly the best I've made, ever. And its better than any 'wild rice' soup I've had. Yes, even better than Lund's. I think its the local heavy whipping cream I used. Mmmmmm.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Boredom.
This is what boredom looks like.
I laid half on the couch with my legs on the wall. Because I'm a regular human being and thats what regular humans do when they want to 'chillax'.
So, tomorrow I'll be making home made wild rice soup. It'll be my first time trying so lets hope that goes well. I'm kind of sick of eating pita, hummus, whole wheat bread, nutella, greek yogurt, salad, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But I will never, I repeat.....NEVER get sick of eating those Limon chips. I will seriously eat them like they are going out of style because my luck, they'll discontinue them or stop carrying them at my local ghettomart.
Random: Next week I'm thinking of tackling home made pizza. With of course trader Joe's pizza dough. I tried it once, and now I have acid-flashback-esque well uhm, flashbacks of it.
More random: I bought a dragon fruit. I've never had dragon fruit. If its anything like the best fruit ever to grace this planet I'll be pleased. Also, next time I go to The Wedge I'll be picking up miniature kiwis. I remember I stopped eating kiwis because I had an allergic reaction when I was 12, but hey....I can get past the itchy tongue, throat, and dry mouth.
Watching:
+This season of Dexter makes me mad. But I nominate Micheal C. Hall for being the most sexually attractive ginger in all the land.
+GLEE. GLEE. -insert something teenie bopperish I would have said 10 years ago-
+I started watching Arrested Development again since my reoccuring crush on Will Arnett is at a firey all-time high. Plus I missed it, and I cannot wait for the movie.
+Holy....holy, South Park. Matt Parker and Trey Stone want to get shot. I think making obnoxious over the top cartoons is a plea from them both. They want to get shot. If you didn't watch tonights episode, I suggest you keep an open mind and realize it isn't 'too soon' anymore. You'll understand what I meant after you watch it. There, I just gave you a homework assignment.
+Minnesota sports break my metaphorical balls.
Tata for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)